A trip to inner peace
Lorenzo arrived on his bicycle in Phayao, Thailand at the end of December after starting his bike trip in Bangkok one month earlier. He came here to do volunteering on a self-sufficient permaculture farm. While we’re talking, we are sitting in the rice fields looking at the setting sun behind the mountains. The colors of the sky change to purple, red, pink and everything in between. We’re drinking a cup of tea while we forget the time.
Why did you decide to go on this trip?
One of the reasons I decided to go on this trip is because I didn’t process a disappointment I had one year ago. A friend and I started a project on sensibilisation of sustainable mobility. We talk about emissions, air quality, traffic problems, and so on. We applied for funding with our regional government for 50.000 euro. We needed to explain in great detail what we wanted to do. It was like two or three months worth of work. In the end we didn’t get the money because of a mistake somebody else made who was involved. Because we are not a sports team, we had to work together with another person. He did not respond to the email of the government in time so we lost the opportunity.
So it was a huge disappointment. It took up a lot of my free time and we had a lot of ideas. If we had received the funding, I would have been doing the project right now. So I decided to set off on this trip. Not only for this but it’s one reason.
In what way does this trip helps you to deal with the disappointment?
The main reason why I’m doing this is for myself. It hasn’t been an easy year for me. Not only because of the project but in different ways. I really felt I needed an experience like this. I hope to come back to Italy with more peace inside. This kind of trip is about how you can not always be happy. You have to pass through difficult moments and that’s why people should have such an experience. I believe you can improve your character in this way.
How did the start of the trip go?
I had two really difficult days because of the jet lag effects and being away outside of Europe for the first time. I was thinking: “What am I doing with my bicycle on the other side of the planet?”. I did not sleep for two nights. I rode out of Bangkok on my bicycle without sleeping for 48 or 72 hours. The first stage was crazy. I did not eat as wel in the beginning. It was only after 100 kilometers when I found a road sign to a restaurant. I followed the directions and I managed to find the place. It was a heavenly calming place where I came to myself again. During the days I was cycling, I always found a ‘zen place’ where my mind could come to rest. For example, there was this small waterfall inside a beautiful garden where I took a break. I drank some tea, ate some sweets and I could write about my feelings. I keep a diary where I write daily about what I’m doing and what I’m feeling. It helps me alot.
So the first days were so intense, it felt like I’d been out for a month or so. I was thinking this trip would never end. In a bad way, not a good way. The next few days began to become more normal. While using Couchsurfing, I met local people and it helped a lot to be in contact with other people. For me that’s the point in doing a trip like this, to meet people.
Was there something that gave you strength during hard moments? How could you keep going?
In the first days I stayed in touch with my girlfriend. I was telling her that I couldn’t do it. She told me before the start that she was coming to meet me in Vietnam. This really gave me a lot of strength to overcome the first day’s problems. I knew she would come and I would not be doing the 3 months alone by myself. I also created a lot of problems in my mind because of my bad English and I feared I couldn’t explain myself to other people.
Your English is not bad at all.
Thank you, I’m trying to improve.
That was a hard time for you. Did you have a moment where you felt a high?
I guess I’m kind of a middle path person. Like in a buddhist way. I dont get super excited when I have a good moment and I try not to go very deep when I have a bad moment.
Are you reading about Buddhism?
I started to practice yoga and I read a lot about Buddhism. Now during this trip I’m reading a Buddhist book from an Italian writer Gianluca Gotto. He talks about his experiences when he got dengue fever in Thailand. He had a deep depression in the period after the infection. One day he asked help in a temple in Bangkok and then he meditated for two or three months in a temple in Pai. And now I’m going in the same direction. I’m on the same path as him, let’s say.
Was the story the inspiration for your trip?
Yeah, it’s kind of the right place to read a book about this. And it’s not about a religion or about some god. It’s about living in a way that is good for yourself and the people around you. That’s the point. In European countries we don’t have this. People think Buddhism is just any kind of religion or a sect maybe while they haven’t read about it at all.
The author talks about how you have to accept suffering, the middle path and the right path to follow.
Do you see some buddhist elements you are implementing in your bikepacking trip?
This morning my host, who’s planning to become a buddhist monk in a few months, was talking about how everything in life is impermanent. I found it very interesting because it’s similar to what I’m reading.
For example if you have an issue with the bicycle or something breaks, you have to set your mind that this problem will pass. It’s okay, you can fix it and then you will feel better. The bad feeling will pass and another feeling will come. Everything comes and goes. That’s a good mindset to go bikepacking.
Like the hills here, they go up and down.
Exactly, so if you are in a bad mood, that’s okay. Afterwards it will turn into a good mood. You don’t have to catch these feelings and be too possessive and obsessed about it. Non-possessive ways to approach life is another good theme about buddhist philosophy. It applies to dealing with other people as well.
You don’t have to be too possessive with people. For example if you have a girlfriend, it’s not your property. I think it’s a bad thing to see it as your girlfriend like she is a possession, because it’s not.
Does it help you in other areas of your life?
I don’t know. I feel like I’m in the beginning of discovering this philosophy. It’s not more than four or five months. It’s around the time I decided to come on this trip to Thailand. And I spent a lot of money on this bike so I wanted to use it. Maybe spending a lot of money on an object is not a buddhist thing to do.
The buddhists have lots of nice temples, maybe the bike is your temple.
Yeah, haha, that’s an interesting thought.
The most fun thing about my bicycle is that I owned a Mercedes before and I sold it to buy my bicycle. Because I needed a car, I bought an old car that cost less than my bicycle.
It’s a 14 years old Citroen Picasso. I have this idea to transfer it into a van. Then I can go everywhere with my bike in the back.
Seems like you’re making a lifestyle shift.
That’s the other interesting point our host talked about. He drives a thirty years old pickup. The brakes have a delay and the gears and steering are very hard to use. A lot of people ask him why he doesn’t buy a new one. Nevertheless, he knows how to ride it and has no reason to buy a new one if he can still drive it.
I think that is a main problem in the western society. People feel they need to buy a new car, new phone or a new house to feel happy. And it’s nice to reach a goal like that but afterwards a lot of people feel sad and something new has to come into their life. From chasing materialism, you can never really get happy. This is why I needed to take a step back.
Anyhow, I still spend a lot of money on this bike. I don’t feel very confident or brave. So with a decent bicycle and gear, I feel more safe. Having equipement I trust, I don’t have to worry if my bike is still okay after a hard stage. And I can think about other things instead.
I think it’s very brave to go on a cycling trip like this alone and share your feelings and doubts like that so openly. Was it your first trip alone?
Yes, my first bikepacking trip I did with a road bike from Bergamo to Florence. It took us four days. We were with four people and I really enjoyed it. Then I did some weekend trips to reach a festival or to Bologna where my girlfriend lives. This summer I did the Italy Divide to test my new Surly bike. It’s a beast and I’m happy about the bike. I think if you buy this bike, you’re okay for the rest of your life.
How did you start bikepacking?
After covid, my father and some of my friends started cycling. I joined them and it was fun. I started doing trips around my hometown and I always wanted to go a little further and expand my comfort zone. That’s another reason why I decided to go on this trip, to expand my comfort zone.
Living in a small town or staying in the same place most of the time and visiting the same bar all the time, it’s comfortable. But you lose curiosity about meeting new people and going to new places. For me that’s another reason why I went on this trip. I see the difference between myself and people who have travelled for longer periods.
People who travel a lot have a different approach to a lot of areas in life.
Like for me, I need some time to feel comfortable in a big group. I won’t be talking a lot in a group of new people. I prefer to share my things in a small group or with one person. I feel that’s different if you have travelled a lot.
Sometimes people don’t feel brave enough to make a big change in their life. Or leave this one person you care about. But you have to try if you don’t feel good about your life or situation.
I have this problem that I appreciate a lot of things only 100% afterwards. I think I will truly appreciate this trip afterwards. When I will come back to Italy and return to my rhythm and feelings from over there, maybe some things will have changed but I will look back and think: “that was crazy”. But now, I don’t think about that in that way. I’m in the moment now and that’s why I really need to write about my feelings and what I’m doing. When I read all this at home, it will be really nice to read it all again… Look at the beautiful colors of the sky here..
Yeah, I have never seen these pink sunsets anywhere else… Maybe one last question. Are you already inspired for your next cycling trip?
I set this journey up for myself and I heard a lot of good things about people in Asia, so I wanted to see for myself and meet new people. I met an Italian guy last week who travels around the world on his bicycle. He told me there are two types of travellers. It’s like you either support AC Milan or Inter Milan. You have the ones who favor travel in Asia and the ones who prefer travel in South America. So I will have to try South America to decide. I’m dreaming of Patagonia. This is what I want to do next and then I can decide what team I’m on.
Thanks for this interesting talk.
I really enjoyed it as well.
